My calling!

God has gave me so much to blog about lately but my brain is so scattered with moving next week and all that entails that to focus on just ONE thought is about impossible! I decided I would try to blog but it will probably end up rambling, OH WELL!

So 1st of all I watched THE HELP the other night, WOW but a sad movie... It was very hard for me to watch, and the main reason was because of how awful the white mothers treated their children. That is when I truly realized (even though I already knew this) that being a mother is truly a calling. Anyone can have kids (well some can't but you know what I mean), but not everyone can be a mother, a truly good mother... For as long as I can remember (about age 3 or 4) that, that is ALL I ever wanted... I just wanted to be a MOM. My parents bought me baby dolls and I treated them as my babies, I had to dress them, feed them, cover them up, etc... They even bought me very expensive dolls that I still have, that you could program and they grew up from an infant to toddler, Ironically the baby was called "Baby Heather". I loved that doll... Anyways being a mother is the only TRUE thing I love with all my heart and soul... I like my job as a nurse but would much rather just treat people for free, or for missions, I have NO desire to work full time as one. I thank GOD everyday for my perfect beautiful children... and will strive everyday to raise them to be Christ-like. I hope they will let Jesus shine through them to so many people who don't know Him. I can feel that God has huge plans for my family, I don't know what it looks like but He is preparing me for anything, and I am willing!

2nd I am so mixed with emotions on moving... I mean don't get me wrong I can't wait to see my family but Ivan and I love Knoxville so much it will be hard to move for 6 months... the one and only thing getting me thru this is keeping my eyes on "GOD"... I know this is what He wants us to do for whatever reason... It isn't the "EASY" thing to do, it isn't the "realistic" thing to do but it is HIS plan, and I know by being obedient He will bless it. It won't be easy and the satan will attack as always but we are ready and prepared as much as we can. I know God will bring us back to Knoxville soon, I don't know what that will look like either, He has put a few different things on my heart so i will just keep praying about them. Just continue to pray for us, as we will need much of it!!

3rd... God has been showing me just how blessed I am to have a husband who is my very best friend, who is my soul-mate, who I love more today than I ever could have 11 years ago, more than I could even imagine... A love that still makes my heart beat fast when he calls me or texts me to tell me he loves me and misses me while he is at work... A husband who sings to me, and is silly... A husband who I am honestly never sick of seeing and can't get enough of... My hearts desire was to have a man who was my prince charming, that when I watched a romantic movie I thought of, when I heard a love song I could relate.... No my life isn't a fairy tale but my love for him could be. He can read my thoughts (thank goodness because some days it is more like charades trying to figure out what i am saying)... A husband who works hard to provide for me and his family, and who appreciates me and all I do to take care of him and our kids. We have went through many rough times but the fact that he wants nothing more than to be a good husband to me and does everything he can to become a better man, a more Godly man... that is all that matters to me! I am ONE lucky lady!

That was a little all over the place, but that was everything on my heart lately! Won't have time to blog til after the big move I'd say!

Just a quick post... Packing and Moving

Well since I haven't had time to blog much I thought I would real quick. I have been busy packing up our home so that we can move in with my sister for one month and then to Iowa for 6 months so that I can finish my nursing degree!

I can't lie it is pretty hard. I have moved many times but in my eyes it was easier because I associated it as bettering ourselves, as in a bigger place or a nicer home etc. Well we love our home and we love our neighborhood so that isn't the case this time. This time we are moving to be obedient to God and that is a lot harder than it seems sometimes. We are so glad we are and wouldn't want it. My heart knows this but my flesh says look what you are giving up, its all materialistic though, nothing that will really better me.

So in the long run it will be good. We will be downsizing and living a little more frugal. We will have to be more creative with our time than just watching TV. It will be great and is actually exactly what I asked for from God in prayer, I just had NO idea what it would look like when He answered.

I also have learned from all this packing that MORE is NOT better!! lol We have WAY more than we need and are not in any way hurting for things!! One good thing about moving is getting rid of stuff!

Well I hope this makes sense because I wrote it very fast and have no time to proof read!

Lately!

Well I haven't blogged in awhile so I thought I would take a few minutes just to fill in what we have done since my last blog. (Good thing I have a planner that I write everything down in or I could never remember) ;-)

Lets see Ivan and I had a date night on Friday Oct. 21. We went to Chili's for supper and came home a watched a movie I believe... Ya we are very exciting aren't we?!

I had a garage sale that Saturday. It wasn't a great turn out! We didn't sell much... I found a few good deals on clothes for the kids that's about it. Then Alex had a soccer game that night. He did great and so did his whole team! I love watching him play, he has such passion for sports!

Sunday we went to Church 1st service and then spent the day as a family at Oakes Farm Pumpkin Patch and Corn Maze. Alex's friend Sam and his family were there also so that was quite an awesome coincidence!

Monday I took CPR for at least the 15th time in my life thus far! BLAH... but it was quick and easy so it was all good! We also sold Alex's car bed!! Woo hoo (one less thing to move)

We carved pumpkins on Tuesday night... Foofa and the red angry bird! Ivan does a great job carving our pumpkins! We also ordered Marco's pizza because it was 1st grade night and all the 1st graders decorated pizza boxes so we got Alex's box!!

Wednesday was C.O.W and Life Group. All the men met at The Kluemper's like normal but the women went to a woman's house who is dying from some unknown health issues. We cleaned and organized many areas of her house, and brought her food. It was great to help someone in need.

Friday it rained and rained and rained so we did NOTHING!! Alex spent the night with Uncle Dennis to go hunting for youth season on Saturday. Ivan went to work Saturday morning from 6-11am. Then we took the girls horse back riding in the Smokies! It was a lot of fun! Then we went to Kendra's for a Nerf War. We stayed there for 2 hrs or so. Then Kendra and I went shopping... and we SOLD the van! THANK GOD!!

Sunday we went to Church 2nd service, we ran a few errands and I helped Cheyenne with her school project that is due this week!!

Besides all the many things we have done in the last week or so I am trying not to be overwhelmed or stressed by the stuff I have to get done... including packing our entire house in 3 weeks and moving it to storage and moving into my sister's. Also I have very mixed emotions about moving. I can't wait to see my family and friends and get my RN and know that I am obeying God's plan and following his path... but it is hard to think about leaving Knoxville (our home, in our hearts), our Church and Church family, and just everything that we love... to go to Iowa in the middle of WINTER, in Moscow in the middle of NOWHERE, in a trailer next to the railroad tracks with NO TV (let alone DVR)... Yes to me this will be roughing it, but if anything this just shows me exactly why God wants me to move... to see that I can DO without!! I need to focus on school and what is important... Christ and my family!

Ivan and I have been laughing and saying I do not know how we will make it thru the winter there when the kids and I both have said how cold we are when it is between 40 and 50 degrees!! UGH!!

This is HIS plan not mine

This morning as I lay in bed and it was as if what alot of people have said to me in the past few weeks had just came racing back to me and as I put it into perspective I felt like I just had to say a couple things... maybe make a statement on my behalf... (not that anyone said anything wrong)

I just have to clarify that I am not going back to school for myself. I am doing this because I know its what God wants FOR ME and for my family. I personally have NO desire to sit back in class for hours, do clinicals on weekends, or study for tests and most of all I do NOT care to miss time with my beautiful family... but it is a sacrifice I am willing to make so that God can use me for His good and to benefit my family in the long run if God so desires. This is also why Ivan made the decision that we have made because he feels the same way... Not him sacrificing his job for MY happiness. This has nothing to do with MY happiness. I am perfectly content with my life right now, but when God opens doors and calls you out of your comfort you HAVE to follow Him.... because HIS plan is so much better than our own plan!

Audacious Living

This is the way I want to live my life. It started over 2 years ago when my husband and I prayed about moving to Knoxville, TN. We lived in Iowa and have most of our lives, all of our family and friends were there, but we knew in our hearts God wanted us elsewhere. So as we prayed God told us Trust me and I will provide. So with our 3 kids we moved, with a u-haul full of our belongings and nothing else, NO jobs, No money... just FAITH! God has done nothing but provide ever since. Matt 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. Ivan and I have trusted Him in every area since.

In Sept. 2010 as we prayed God told Ivan to quit his job and stay home with the kids and had me work full time. We didn't know what this would look like and it was definitely a switch in roles but it was exactly what God wanted. He provided financially and in turn I had to give up some control and see that certain things were not that important, and Ivan had to realize what it was like to have different priorities and had to learn patience with the kids.

A couple weeks ago at church we gave the shoes off our feet to give to people in need. It was actually harder than it sounds. I was wearing my favorite shoes and Ivan was wearing his brand new shoes, but in the end God said "They are NOT yours, they are mine", as is everything we have. He is the one who allows us to have what we have. It was very humbling. When we told the kids what we had done they didn't think twice about what shoes were on their feet, they took them off, and put them on the alter... To have child-like faith and to live Audaciously without even knowing it!

I got the opportunity to be a small group leader at the Esther Experience last weekend. To say the least it was out of my comfort zone, but I put my faith in the Lord and He did amazing work through me. I can take No credit because it was the holy spirit working through me and speaking through me. I in my flesh could have done none of it!

If you looked at my finances, you would laugh... you wouldn't understand how I pay my bills... if you looked at my check book you wouldn't understand the balance. I know I don't but what I do know is that it can only be God because nothing else can explain it.

A couple months ago I was prompted to call my old nursing adviser back in Iowa where I went to school. To my surprise she said I could get right in next semester. I couldn't believe it but I knew instantly it was God opening a door. It is the very last semester I can get my RN without retaking everything! Ivan and I prayed alot about it, as its another huge decision and overall leap in Faith! Our main prayer was "God continue to open doors, show us where you want us, or shut them if you don't want us to move" I can't lie I had mixed feelings, I still do. We absolutely 100% LOVE IT HERE! We love the area, we love our family and church family, our church, kids schools, and our jobs.... but there is that tugging when you know you just HAVE to do what God is saying, we don't know All the reasons but we do know its whats right, for right now. Well God does continue to open doors for us so we have decided to go forward one day at a time and just let God do the work. Isaiah 30:21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

When you live Audaciously you see Results... Things happen... your life counts!! The reality is, and we have experienced this by many, when you live this way people don't like it, it makes them uncomfortable, they just don't understand! When you live Audaciously GOD gets the GLORY! Why, do you ask? Because anyone can see that none of THIS would be possible if it wasn't for HIM!

So... Are you willing to live Audaciously anyways? Even when people and other Christians don't agree?? I AM!! I expect people to think I'm crazy.... because if my life made sense I'd be worried... and I would know I'm just living safe and for myself... and WHO would get the glory for that?

Daniel 6:1-22 is a great example of someone who lived Audaciously for the Lord and didn't compromise his Christianity. Though his very life was on the line, he chose to remain true to himself and true to God. Now its your turn to stand up to the pressure and live to please GOD alone!!

Oh Hadley... and the game of Life!

This girl just never quits with her funniness! I can't remember everything that she said today but man oh man does she crack me up!

We went to Dollar General to get some Mountain Dew and she grabs some donuts and says "mom I would like these donuts please" She really never asks for anything and I was planning on getting her a little candy or something so I was like whatever... I asked if she wanted a ring pop or any other snack and she goes "nope I just want donuts". I was like well ok then. So we come home and I gave her a donut and then I ran upstairs to do a few things. I came back down and she said "mom I got another donut out all by myself" I said "well that's good". We were only home maybe 20 minutes. We then left to get Ivan and ran some errands. We came home and sat down for supper and Hadley barely ate anything. She kept saying she wasn't hungry which whoever knows her that just isn't normal.... So as I am cleaning up supper I look in the donut box and see that 4 were gone!! They weren't the little ones either... She ate 4 regular donuts in 20 minutes... no wonder she wasn't hungry... LOL
Hadley loves to play with her "fake" cell phones. They are our old ones but they don't work. She gave the phone to Ivan and said "grandma Shell wants to talk to you". So Ivan is pretending having a conversation with my mom and he is making it sound really good... "well we are going to walk our dogs now, Oh that's what you are doing to? Yah I bet shorty and penny like that, yah I have been short a penny or two myself" Oh my gosh I thought I was going to die laughing... that boy is funny!! (most of the time) So then we go out to take a walk and Hadley had her phone in her pocket and we are just walking along and all of sudden she pulls it out and says "Mom someones calling you" It was hilarious!

Oh here's another good one but this one is all ALEX... I guess while I was gone this weekend Cheyenne and Ivan were having a conversation and I can't remember all the details but it had to do with how tall something was... and Ivan said, its so many feet tall... and Alex says "your feet or Cheyenne's feet?" bahahaha

Cheyenne, Ivan, and I played the game of Life tonight. Lets just say we laughed until we cried many times. First of all I can't see the writing on any of the tiles so as I am trying to read one I said "something about feeding the bunnies" and Cheyenne and Ivan are laughing so hard cuz it said "you find a buried treasure".... Um that's close right?? lol .... Then Cheyenne is trying to put those little people pegs in her car and she's like "Man I'm sweating inside my shirt trying to do this" we were both like well where else would you sweat?! .... Then throughout the whole game we couldn't help but laugh at Ivan. In the game he started out going to college which you have to borrow $100,000 and his career was a computer designer for $50,000. So he gets a mobile home for his starter home, ends up going back to college and paying $50,000 only to end up getting a teacher position for $40,000 (so he lost a ton of money). Then he has to change homes which costs him like $300,000 for a RV and double wide. We are laughing this whole time cuz he's like I can't afford this stuff... Plus he kept landing on every pay tile there was. First he landed on buy and SUV which I said "Isn't that your whole salary?" ;-) He landed on the redecorate your home tile and had to pay $85,000... Of course I laughed and said now isn't your wife worth that? He goes " the whole house wasn't worth that, I could have bought a new one"! Then he landed on hire a maid and butler service pay $65,000... by this time I can't take anymore... He's like "Really? I live in a double wide!!" I was like "Man your wife is HIGH MAINTENANCE!!" lol It was a great time!! Oh and Cheyenne beat us both.....

Esther Experience Make War

I left for Etowah, TN on Thursday afternoon to attend the Esther Experience, this time as a small group leader. I was a little nervous about leaving my family for 72 hrs or so and about being a small group leader since that is quite a bit out of my comfort zone. I prayed about it for months and knew it was just of Satan to tell me I wasn't adequate enough for the job and would have nothing to give these women.

Thursday was getting settled in, figuring out where everything was, setting up from stuff, and meetings to know what the tentative plan for the weekend was. Also getting to know all of our small group leader. There were 15 of us.

Friday was up early which was a little rough since none of us slept Thurs night due to being in a different place and hearing every move we all made. We had to get everything set up for the nights events. There was a lot of prep work. We also made our journey to the cross after lunch. Participants showed up around 6:30 and I believe we got to bed around 11:30 that night.

Saturday is the day that feels like 3 put into 1. We were up early to get the day started. Had many sessions. It was a powerful, humbling day...... we got to bed late... midnight or so.

Sunday was the last day and we were up the earliest. We had our final sessions and finished up around 1 or so. We had an overall amazing beyond words can explain weekend.

Our theme for the event was Make War. It was based on 2 Corinthians 10:3-4.

I learned many things and God told me so much this weekend and once again showed me just how faithful He is, as I prayed so many things and He answered them all! The words he gave me this weekend were discipline and obedience. I won't give away any details of the experience because I believe EVERY woman needs to attend this retreat! It is Life changing! .... So attend Esther Experience and figure out just what is you are going to do to CHANGE YOUR WORLD!

The day before Esther

Thought I would try to do a quick blog tonight to try and relax some before bed. I have been very overwhelmed and anxious the past few days in preparation for the Esther Experience. I am super excited to be going and doing God's work and just can't wait to see what He has in store for all of us. Saying that though it is very hard for me to leave my husband and kids. I just don't do it very often so it is definitely out of my comfort zone. I know that I really need this and it is what God has called me to do, and I know everything will be fine while I'm away, but it is still not easy! It is also out of my comfort zone to be a small group leader so I am lacking in confidence right now but I know God will get me through it.

The theme for this Esther is "Make War", and let me tell you, we have! Satan is NOT happy at all. He has thrown us many curve balls and obstacles but He will not win, our God is Bigger and way more Powerful!

So to end my blog I just ask anyone reading this to pray for us this weekend. Pray for Ivan to have patience with the kids, to have a wonderful time and to just enjoy every second with them and give him a whole new light on how blessed he is to have such beautiful, smart, healthy wonderful children. Pray he takes some quiet time to read the word and hear what he needs to.

Pray for me and all the volunteers at Esther to be the hands and feet of Jesus and to hear what He wants us to. Pray for the participants that they will be receptive to what He needs them to hear and what they need to hear this weekend, and pray for a hedge of protection around my family and myself while I am away and that no illnesses will get worse!

Thanks and Love to all! Can't wait to blog about everything when I return on Sunday, it is sure to be AUDACIOUS and Amazing!

Monday, and my sweet, funny girl!

First of all Ivan and I went out last night to dinner and a movie with some good friends of ours. We had a great time and the movie was amazing! Had such a great message, made ya laugh, made ya cry (many times).... We got home late which in turn went we all went to bed late!

We had to get up early because Ivan has to be to work by 6, kids on the bus by 7... and then Hadley and I off to daycare and work. Well Alex woke up with full blown croup. At 7 1/2 yrs old (dealing with it for 7 yrs now) it's just getting plain OLD! I'm totally over it... (but thankful my other 2 don't have a problem with it. So I sent Cheyenne off to school, not knowing whether or not Alex would be able to go. Gave Alex meds and some fresh cold air and monitored him until 8. I brought him to school on the way to prayer walk with some great ladies at Northstar.

When we got there Hadley said maybe 2 words and then sat in her stroller so good and eventually fell asleep (cuz 7:40 is way to early for her). I was very impressed by how good she was. It was a very relaxing and blessed morning. On the way to her daycare she said "mom I have my fake doggy with me" I said" oh do you?" Then she says " yah and I have a fake pool at my fake house too" (I just love her imagination) When we were almost there I heard her chatting in the back seat... I said "Hadley are you talking to your fake doggy?" She goes "yah" I said "what is he saying Hadley?" She goes "Mom she's a girl dog not a boy" Oh well Sorry Hadley my bad! "What is SHE saying?" Hadley says "She wants to come to school with me"

She was in the bathroom tonight and I said "Hadley is that a bug bite on your cheek?, let me look at that" So I look at it and said "How in the world did you get that bug bite on your cheek just now" She goes "Um from the bugs".... Thanks for stating the obviously!!

Hadley was playing pretend tea party with her babies, so I went ahead and got out a tea set that Cheyenne has had for like 5 or more years now. She absolutely loves it! I got my camera out and was taking some pictures of her playing and she kept moving every times. I said "Hadley you aren't giving me very good pictures here, come on" So she finally sat still and smiled and said "let me see", So I showed her, her picture and she goes "ah that's my best cheese mom" LOL

Oh this girl is something else!

As Hadley is playing "tea party" She brings me some pretend cake. I pretend eat it. She says "mom you forgot to use a plate" oops sorry I thought with pretend cake we just pretended everything else! I wanted to take some more pictures of her so she had to set everything up just so... I went to take a picture, she yells "WAIT we forgot the SUGAR"... what was I thinking, we can't take a picture without the sugar!! She just ran in as I was finishing this blog up and said (in all seriousness) "I am out of sugar" I said "oh my, you are?" She said "yes, I don't have any, there is none in my cab-in-et" then adds "my fake cabinet mom" I said "Oh" She says"well do you have some?" I said "yes I think so" Hadley "well where is it" I said "in my REAL cabinet" I then added " just pretend with it Hadley ok?" .......... I am pretty sure I could keep this Blog going all night!! ..............................................and with that said I go into check on Hadley and she was NOT pretending with the sugar, she had it everywhere... and was licking her fingers. It was pretty dang cute, I can't lie! (see above pictures)

AUDACIOUS!

Our Pastor is doing a series on Audacious: The key to God sized living. Today was week 3. The first week was all about audacious prayers like in Joshua 10:1-15 when he asked God to make the sun stand still. Our Pastor challenged us to pray an Audacious prayer, something daring, reckless and bold... (There was a lot more to this message)

Week 2 was about Faith and he talked about who God said had the greatest faith he ever saw. It was so shocking after you hear all the stories in the bible, that it was a Roman Soldier (Centurion) in Matthew 8:5-13.

This week was being Audacious with our actions which we can do when we are walking in a close relationship with our Father. Our Pastor told us of one man's idea that God laid on his heart, to open a Church at the Cotton Eye Joe (which is a country night club). A Church where people who would normally never set foot in a church could go... who are lost, broken, etc.

Our Church helps with many ministries such as Water Angels and Team Guatemala. There biggest need is shoes. There was a man in Guatemala who got his 1st pair of shoes at the age of 78 yrs old. Can you imagine never having a pair of shoes and walking bare foot 24/7? or worse yet can you imagine your children with no shoes, esp here where it gets really cold? Needless to say we all gave the shoes off our feet and they will be sent to people in need... At first it was a little hard, Ivan was wearing his brand new shoes, his first thought was "I bet Heather wishes I was wearing my boots today" LOL ... (I'm not a fan of his boots) and I was wearing my favorite shoes as well, but as we prayed God specifically said, " They aren't yours", and Ivan and I agreed, everything we have is HIS and the only reason we have what we have is because HE has blessed us with it.... It was such a humbling and bittersweet moment at Church this morning... especially when we got our kids from their class and they asked where our shoes were, so we took them to see the alter and Alex sat right down to take the shoes off his feet without any hesitation. God has big plans for that sweet boy...

(The alter was full of shoes all the way around and that was only the 1st service... there are 2 more to come! )

My Love

Well I thought since I have pretty much blogged about my kids I better take the time to blog at least once about my hubby (don't want him to feel left out or anything) ;-)

Hmm... Should I start at the beginning or will that make for a really long blog? yah I guess I will but I better make it short and sweet.

Ivan and I went to high school together. We became friends mainly because we had mutual friends (as in he was friends with boyfriends' of mine). He never made his feelings a secret but I didn't want to risk our friendship by dating. I called him and talked to him about everything (even things I am SURE he never wanted to hear). He loved me for who I was from the very beginning. Towards our senior year I realized I wanted to date someone who made me happy and not someone I had to pretend with. So we started dating in April 2000. By May 2001 we found out we were having a baby (needless to say we were both surprised) Ivan wanted to get married right away, he had no hesitation (like it was nothing) I on the other hand, had to do much convincing to myself and my family. I of course loved him but was one who DID NOT want to get married for a long time. I figured Cheyenne deserved this so I did it, for her... Little did I know that God would use that for His good as He does everything. I know looking back I would never have stuck out ANY relationship if it wasn't for having my kids (and later coming to Christ and realizing what a marriage was really about).

We have had MANY ups and downs but it is ALL so worth it. I can't imagine how many memories and great times I would have missed without him in my life. He is honestly my soul-mate, my better half, my everything!

I still get butterflies when he calls or texts me, I blush when he says sweet things, we still miss each other when we are away, we have amazing talks, laughs, and just overall so much fun together!

I respect the man that he is and the man he wants to be more and more. I love that he always wants to be better even though I love him for who he is. I love that he wanted to marry me even with all my flaws and knew so many years ago that I was worth waiting for when I didn't notice him for who he was... I love him for the dad that he is and the dad he wants to be. I love that he breaks out in whatever song is in his head at the time... (so funny and glad he can hold a tune cuz I can NOT) I love that he can handle cleaning up vomit cuz I can NOT... I love how silly he is and how much he makes me laugh...I just love HIM... (there is way to many to keep listing)

We have been married 10 yrs now and together 11. Have 3 amazingly beautiful children (and yes I would have more if he agreed but he does not), and God Willing I can't wait to spend many more years with him. I just know God has some great things in store for us!

It is what it is...

Alex had a soccer game today. I just can't believe how much he loves sports and how much I love watching him play them.... Just the joy on his face is enough for me! I love taking pictures of my kids and the action shots of soccer are awesome! He has great team spirit also...

This morning Alex walked out the back door to feed the dogs and said "Brr it feels like winter out here"... Funny because it was only about 60 degrees out! lol Again, that boy is going to have a long winter.

After his soccer game I had to go to work. I picked a shift up in Sevierville. So I left the house early and got off the exit around 5:10, it took me 50 minutes to get to my job. I was in stand still traffic almost the whole time and I REALLY had to pee. So needless to say I was stressed to the max (I really hate being late). I get there right at 6:00, walk in, and realize there was another nurse already there to work. We then both had to call our bosses on call to see who stays and who goes.... I was the one to go home (get paid 4 hrs for showing up)... All that stress and worrying for NOTHING!! Moral of the story is: #1 there is no point in stressing about stupid things that you have no control over and #2 everything happens for a reason and God will use it for His good! .... SO it is what is and let it go!

Ivan and Alex spent the night together watching the new Transformers Movie, Hadley went upstairs and went to sleep, and I took time alone to write my cards, balance the check book, and BLOG! When I am done I will spend some time with my love (which will lead to my next blog), go to bed and get some sleep (which I would not have gotten if I worked)

My crazy boy child!

I don't have anything super silly to share about Alex recently. He is my crazy sports nut! He played coach pitch in the spring and wanted to try soccer this fall so that is what he is doing now. I would have to say he is doing really well for never playing it before in his life. Last week he got a goal for the 1st time so he was very excited! (So were Ivan and I) I absolutely LOVE watching him play sports. Of course when he gets a bit older that might change because I will be worried of injury I'm sure... (might have to take a xanax beforehand or something) ;-) He has his 3rd game tomorrow and team pictures also, should be a good time (except the cold weather)

Alex is not that into school. He loves math but I think that's about it! He struggles with reading but is actually a pretty good speller. The main thing I can say about Alex is that he has the sweetest and most sensitive soul. He is so caring about others! He loves Church and sharing his love for Jesus with others. Other than that he is most definitely 100% BOY... he loves all things boy: hunting, fishing, hiking, racing, sports.... DIRT... you name it! Oh and he LOVES his sisters... He is such a good brother. He won't really stand up for himself but yet he will chance kids down older than him for picky on his big sister... lol and he plays with them both very well (for the most part, of course they have their days) He's very much a family boy... he loves his WHOLE family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc)

My sick little Princess

Hadley at the Dr. today

(She picked out her own clothes and

everything said Princess on it)

When I came back to bed this morning after getting the older two off to school I realized Hadley was burning up. I went to walk back down the stairs to get the thermometer and heard one of those awful cries so I ran back in the room just in time as she was about to puke. I picked her up and ran her to the bathroom... poor thing couldn't even stand up and she was very shakey/trembling, not to mention white as a ghost, not an ounce of color in her little body. We walked downstairs and took her temperature (101.8) and I listened to her lungs (pretty clear). We went back to sleep and I brought her to the Dr at 10:00. She ended up having microplasm (which I had to google). It is a bacteria with no cell wall that is treated by antibiotics and can cause respiratory infections and such. So azithromycin for 5 days... We then went to eat lunch with daddy at work. I think we all enjoyed that.

I went to put her in her car seat to leave and she was sitting on her strap, I said "Haddie pick your big butt up" She goes "No mommy that's my little one". Yes you are right Hadley your butt is very little! lol She is now weighing 34 lbs and is 39 inches tall... I can't believe how big she is getting!

She just now came up to me and said "mommy is it past my bedtime?" I said "No why are you tired?" She said "yah I am ready to go lay down, and can I please sleep with a baby?" Well of course Hadley especially if you are willing to go to bed at 8:30 at night, you can have whatever you want! lol

Even not feeling well she has a smile on her face that lights up my day! She probably said she loved me 100 times today, gave me tons of big hugs, and want to snuggle most of the day!

I love her imagination too. She plays with her babies all day, gives us pretend snacks, and tells us stories about her little tiny puppy Lola...

Here's a funny story: One day Hadley and I had to run errands. She had her baby with her and her pretend puppy Lola. Well we had been in and out of the car a number of times already and with each trip we got out Hadley had to set her (pretend) puppy on the seat and the whole 9 yards, and every time she would ask can Lola come in... and I would say to that "No sorry puppies aren't allowed in the store" Hadley bought it so all was good ;-) to my defense I needed a break from the pretend dog while we were in the stores because in the car that's all she talked about! So when Ivan got home I asked him if he had met Lola yet. He said No I don't believe I have. I said "Oh well lucky you, because she went EVERYWHERE with us today" and I was telling him the whole story with little Hadley details, so I got to the part about telling Hadley Lola couldn't come in the store because puppies weren't allowed, I thought Ivan was going to die laughing at me. I was like "what? It's believable right?" He goes "Um yah I'm not sure which is funnier or sadder, Hadley having the pretend puppy and going on and on about it in such great detail about it, or you going along with it and talking to the pretend dog also"!! Anyways~ It was pretty funny, you just had to be there! ;-)

Oh the Joys of Motherhood... sarcasm and honesty

I absolutely LOVE being a mom, don't get me wrong, but discipline is not easy! Yesterday I had to take Cheyenne's phone away for 2 days. You would have thought in all honesty the world itself was coming to an end! The tears were flowing, the pleading on her knees was out... Full drama from the drama queen herself! It was sadly pathetic... Short story is, she has been warned all week about being disrespectful and having a poor attitude... It is so hard because she is just never bad, we rarely ever have to discipline her more than a time out or something... So when I had to ground her it was painful. She apologized perfusely and just didn't understand why she had to be in trouble... So after much explanation she understood and got over it! (Thank God, it could have been a long 2 days otherwise)

Anyway~ She really is a good girl and I love her to death! God definitely knew what he was doing by giving me the perfect baby, toddler, and mature child first. She helps me quite a bit with Hadley and has become pretty responsible especially for a 9 yr old. (I can't expect much more)

A little more about Cheyenne.... She loves school especially reading. She tested out of Elementary reading 2 years ago. She got above average on all of her TCAP scores last year... She pretty much has been teachers pet since she started school.... Cheyenne also loves animals. She has a gerbil, a rabbit, and takes care of both cats.... she is now convincing me she needs her own fish and since ours just died tonight she will probably get her way! Some of the reasons we butt heads... she isn't very confident in herself, she loves making excuses, she isn't very organized and can be lazy. Reasons she butts heads with her dad: because they are exactly the same!! lol

Life as I know it

True Story: Last night Ivan and I went to bed. Which means Ivan lays down in bed and I go brush my teeth, go to the bathroom, wash my face, etc. So I come out of the bathroom and say "You better not be asleep already" Because he falls asleep at the drop of a hat and its just irritating ;-) He says "Nope not yet" So we start talking about Hadley and how she is so funny and I can't even remember what else. Next thing you know Ivan says " Fine I will get your clothes so you will quit crying" (kind of sarcastically) I of course say as I'm laughing " What are you talking about weirdo I have my p.j's on, I don't need clothes" He them says "Oh sorry I must have dozed off, and I guess was dreaming you were in the shower and needed me to grab your clothes". Well that's nice honey that you dream about me I guess but REALLY right in the middle of a conversation you can fall asleep and start dreaming and talk in your sleep... LOL I know that was T.M.I but it was SO funny I just had to share (and he will really appreciate it... bahaha)

This morning I went back to bed after getting the kids off to school and Hadley was in our bed sleeping (of course). My alarm goes off at 8:50 so I hit snooze. Two seconds later I get a kidney shot with one of Hadley's feet and before I can recover I get a full blown kick to my full bladder. Needless to say we were both awake then... Me from being in pain and really having to pee and her from me yelling out in pain.... She instantly woke up saying " sorry mom, sorry, really sorry mommy" Yes I think she knows when I yell in pain it's from her! lol

After we get up Hadley wants to get dressed and she boldly states " I can do by myself mom" Ok Hadley you get right on that... so she gets dressed and I say "Now come here so I can button your buttons" "No mom I can do it" "Alright" I said "go ahead and try it" after trying for quite sometime she finally gave in and let me do the button but as soon as I was done, she hanked her coat out of my hand and said " Now I CAN do this myself".... well la di da ... Guess she told me!!

One of the cats runs in my room this morning and I told it to get out. Hadley said "Why is the cat in you room?" I said "I don't know Hadley, did you ask her?" She said "yes I did" " well what did she say?" Hadley: "She said she wanted a drink"... (The cats come in our room to get a drink from sink or bathtub) Oh well good Hadley I'm glad you can communicate with the cats, will you tell them not to meow so much!!

I got a phone call from Cheyenne's teacher today while I was at work. She asked me if I could bring in a pumpkin for Friday's project. Then she followed with "While I have you on the phone I just have to say we love Cheyenne so much, she is such a joy to have in class, she is so intelligent, she gets everything right, and she is so funny she keeps us cutting up all day... We are just so blessed to have her this year. I hadn't had a chance to tell you that yet so I wanted you to know."

Wow I was one proud momma, and my heart just melted... This makes every year that I have heard this from her teachers! (NOW why can't she be that way at home?) ;-)

Well to end our night we went to Life Group which we absolutely love because we get to get together with some great friends and share life, pray for each other, and talk about God's word.

Unfortunately tonight we got called to come pick up Hadley who wasn't feeling well. She seems to be doing better now that she is home and laying down. I read her a Dora book and as I was counting she said "Great Job counting mom"... Ah thanks Hadley... its really good that her mom can count to 8!! lol (Considering she is 3 and has been able to count to at least 30 for quite some time now)

Hadley talk

Today has been a good day! I worked from 8-2 and then went to pick up Hadley from daycare. There is nothing better than walking in and her face lighting up and saying "yay my mommy is here" and running to give me the biggest hug ever! I just love her more than words can say! She is such a ray of light!

So her and I ran to KARM and she got a few new books, then to Kroger.. I am parking the car and I say "Hadley I really have to pee", "I'm about to pee my pants"... She says "Mommy that really wouldn't be good".... No Hadley I guess it wouldn't!

Alex wasn't being nice to her when we got home. Tormenting her with a toy or something... and I said "Is Alex not being nice Haddie" She goes "No hims being willy wude!! (really rude)

I can't even recall right now all the hilarious things she says in one day but she keeps me laughing and happy all day long!

My day ended with an Esther meeting and it was very powerful, overwhelming, and relaxing all at the same time. I am just so excited to see what God's plan is for next weekend!

Oh Monday!

First of all the other day I was saying "I really wish I could tape my life everyday so I could go back and watch the reruns", so I decided I would just try to blog everyday about either my day, or what funny things my kids or husband say, or God stories... Whatever the day brings I guess.

So yesterday was just "One of those days"... you know the ones you just want to crawl back in bed and forget ever happened??!!

I woke up, drug myself out of bed and all the while I was telling myself "yep its Monday, BLAH". So as I am driving with Hadley to Cheyenne's school to drop something off. I am sitting at a red light and I start saying to myself "90% attitude, 10% effort", " Today is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it"... I think I said this in my head at least 3 times.... 30 seconds later I rear-ended another car... Not exactly what I was expecting as I was trying to change my perspective on the day. Needless to say I knew being on time to work was then out of the question. So I just relaxed, gave the officer my info, got back in my car, dropped the form off at Cedar Bluff Elementary, and ran Hadley to daycare....

When I went into Kindercare I read the sign saying "will be closed Oct. 10th" to find out that is a Monday I have to work so I was irritated.

Got to work 30 minutes late, to hear my client and his wife upset because he was having a health issue. So right away I was on the phone to my Case Manager, Dr's offices, and his daughter (that took about 1 1/2 hrs.) About noon I decided I needed to chart and eat something... and by then the health issue was resolved and ALL was Good in the World again....

Left work, picked Hadley and Ivan up, and went to vacuum our car out. We got all the trash out and took everything we had out of the car, just in time for it to start POURING down rain! Needless to say the car DID NOT get vacuumed....

I came home and went to my BED! But while I was there my mom called me and we just talked for awhile, had some supper, and then talked to my mother-in-law on the phone for a while. It was just relaxing!

Oh and then I almost fell down the stairs but caught myself with both hands... hurt my knee and shoulder in process. ( I blame my mother-in-law for this because she told me after my day to be careful going up and down the stair... j/k I don't blame her but it was pretty ironic)

BUT even in all those situations I sat back and said... It could be worse... Someone could have been hurt in the accident, my car could have been totaled, I could NOT have a job, I could be saying Good-bye to my client instead of making phone calls, I could have managed to break something falling down the stairs... and most of all I could not have my mom, mother-in-law, husband or kids to talk to and make me laugh.... I am just SO blessed that even when I think about just "How bad that day was" It really isn't that bad after all!!!

Oh and come to find out that Monday that the daycare is closed, is the Monday after The Esther Experience and I will be out of town for about 4 days, so I will beable to spend time with my baby girl, unpack, do laundry, clean, etc... so it was exactly what God's Plan was for me! (Why do I always question that?)

John 14:27

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

I take this verse with me where ever I go anymore. It took me a long time to fully understand this and to just trust in the Lord.

I use to be very controlling, not towards others but just in general. My house had to be totally intact, clean, sanitized, my children were on a tight schedule, everything had its place, etc. Now I am still a little OCD don't get me wrong but I am learning to let go. Those things are NOT important and you know, no matter how hard you try, you will NEVER be in control. God is in control. I love the saying " you plan and God laughs" isn't it the truth though? How many times have you tried to plan something down to the T but something goes wrong.... weather doesn't cooperate or you forget something important... It happens to us all!

ANXIETY: How many of us have had that or still do? That use to be my middle name... Anxiety attacks like crazy... I would get SO upset over everything.. what people said to me, how someone treated me, whether I upset someone else, the unknown about the future, money, how I was going to pay my bills, school, my kids, my husband and what he was doing or not doing... Lets just say that is very unhealthy!! It took moving 700 miles away from my family and friends with absolutely nothing to realize, God will provide No Matter what! It was a total Trust thing, we prayed for 2 years and knew this was where He wanted us to be! He may not provide WHAT you want but He will provide what you need, and usually it's way more than what we NEED! Anyone who lives in the United States pretty much has more than they need...

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (Can't be stated any simpler than that, now can it?)

I know most of us struggle with money... not having enough of it, how we should spend it, and so on. I know this is one of my many struggles. Not because I WANT more or think or believe what I have isn't enough but its hard when you have been living a certain way and with so many THINGs such as cars, internet, cable, etc that giving those things up is hard, and in America, transportation to and from jobs, schools, stores is pretty necessary... having the internet and tv is the main way to stay connected to the rest of the world esp when you have so many family and friends miles away. But the plain and simple truth is this: Ezekiel 7:19 They will throw their silver into the streets, and their gold will be an unclean thing. Their silver and gold will not be able to save them in the day of the Lord's wrath. They will not satisfy their hunger or fill their stomachs with it, for it has made them stumble into sin.

Are you one of those people who is always saying or asking "WHAT IF?" We all have in the past I'm sure: whether it's what if I lose my job? what if I can't be good enough? what if it just doesn't work out? What if my husband leaves me? What if someone I love dies or gets sick?

Well I can say I have learned to never say What if? It is all up to God and there is nothing I can do about it, only He can predict the future and knows the path He wants for me... Sure it isn't always easy not knowing, or being patient to hear His word or seeing that open door but its His plan. Isaiah 26:3-4 You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal.

If my life (decisions or choices I make) don't make sense to you, its because all of my decisions are based on the word of God, what He wants for me, what He has told me... It doesn't have to make sense to anyone else but me. As long as I am doing His work and taking the path lead by Him that is all that is important. I have put All my faith in Him and He has not let me down... The second I made God, my center of my marriage and life, it got a lot easy because "If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31

I AM Wealthy!

After going to Esther back in March God gave me the realization that I AM Wealthy. It is something that obviously I never seen. I thought some months I can't pay my bills, we live pay check to check, we don't have nice cars, we rent our house, and dwelt on all those negative things. I mean don't get me wrong I never thought Oh if I had all those things I could be happier, because I couldn't be any happier, I have God, a wonderful husband, and 3 gorgeous children, I knew I was BLESSED but never would have called myself wealthy.

It took hearing some very scary statistics and honestly they make me ill! There are 2.2 billion children in this world and 1 billion of them live in poverty, 925 million of them go hungry, 640 million of them don't have adequate shelter, 400 million of them have no access to safe water, 270 million of them have no access to health services, 15 million of them are orphaned due to HIV/AIDS, and 22,000 of them will die EACH DAY due to poverty! None of these kids asked for this, they didn't have a choice! This makes my heart hurt... My children have a roof over their head, their own rooms even, they have 4 bathrooms and a kitchen where they can get running water that is safe to drink and shower, they health insurance, they get more than enough to eat and often get a choice of what they want, they have more toys than they know what to do with and more clothes than their closet can fit, and shoes that match every outfit... My kids are WEALTHY....

America is the wealthiest country. 80 % of the world lives in poverty. America only makes up 5% of the population... 531 million people own vehicles in the world and America makes up 25% of that.... WE ARE WEALTHY! Truth is we have WAY more than we need.

It makes me sad when I read things about how we shouldn't mission to other countries or raise money to help other countries because we have so many people in America who are homeless. What makes them more important than those of other countries? God loves them all the same, he doesn't care about race, gender, or anything else! There are not enough jobs in other countries for them to work to raise money for their families... Yes I believe we should help those that are homeless in America but no more than any other country...

This weighs so heavy on my heart... I have 3 children and I can't bare to think for one minute that one of them were so hungry they were crying, or hurt or sick and there was NOTHING I could do for them...

I started couponing and becoming more frugal some months ago to help save money and to be able to give more to those in need and also to do a small part in making the world a better place by recycling. (All tips I learned from a my good friend, Melissa Cox) Today I called and got our cable/net bill lowered about $65.00. Its not much in comparison but its a small step! This weekend I am going through my entire home and getting rid of EVERYTHING we don't need or use because we have MORE than enough, and I want my children to know that, to not be greedy or ungrateful for what they have, and to want to give to children in need and also to raise money to donate.

I hope this helps others realize just how wealthy we are, and how we have chose to live this way. We don't NEED any of it, yet we feel we do, and when we don't have it we think we are poor. We take it all for granted. It is all worldly things that just keep us distant from whats really important in life. And we can't take ANY of it with us.

Ivan and I are praying about other things we can do to make a difference and God has placed on my heart something else to do so there may be some changes in our near future, for the better of course... Its all in HIS time!

Just a few verses:

DT 15:4-6 However, there should be no poor among you, for in the land the LORD your God is giving you to possess as your inheritance, he will richly bless you, if only you fully obey the LORD your God and are careful to follow all these commands I am giving you today. For the LORD your God will bless you as he has promised, and you will lend to many nations but will borrow from none. You will rule over many nations but none will rule over you.

PS 112:1-3 Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who finds great delight in his commands. His children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. Wealth and riches are in his house…

Oh how He always provides!

I thought I would share just another way God has once again provided for us, as He has SO many times since coming to Christ almost 5 years ago now.

I was balancing my check book this morning at work, like I do about every other day... but today everything had cleared the bank and I was a little less than $200 difference than the bank online. So I went back a couple weeks and sure enough I made a huge subtraction error (which NEVER happens to me) I am rarely ever off in my check book and the error was just weird to say the least. I spotted it right away which tells me I think i would have when I made it but besides the point... We have more money than we thought and it couldn't have came at a better time since we have Alex's party this weekend, our Vow Renewal next weekend, and a few days later heading to Iowa to visit family and friends. We are also down to one vehicle and have been trying to get a 2nd one.

The craziest part is I was checking into renting a vehicle and the checking acct error is almost to a T the same amount as it would take for me to rent one! Coincidence I think NOT! Oh how He always comes through for US... why do we ever doubt HIM?!

Answered Prayers

Since Ivan quit his job in Sept to stay at home, we have been praying (along with many others) that God would give him a job that he would enjoy, make good money at, and mostly would be a career that he could advance in and want to stay at.

In the past few months Ivan has been preparing to put his application in at the Pipefitter Union for an apprenticeship. He had to take a test which he passed with a Silver (one pt from a gold). So proud of him!! God put a few people in his path that would give him a good reference, even one who has been in the Union for 60 yrs. He has an interview for this position on July 8th. (apprenticeship to start in Sept).... so in the meantime....

On Tuesday (May 31st) I was prayer walking at Church and while a friend was praying for Ivan and I about job situations God spoke to me. I didn't know what it meant at the time but I would soon enough.

After I got home Ivan left to make a trip to the dump and on the way back the van's transmission went completely out. He got the van home thanks to a friend. But while we were a little down and not sure what to do about only having one vehicle, God showed up in a big way.

Ivan received a phone call from Sign Co, a company he had kept in touch with since we moved here 2 yrs ago. They offered him a job, working 4 10 hr days and making decent money.

God has provided us with 2 great opportunities for him and in time we will know which one will be the long term. He has let everything fall into place and answered our prayers.... Still praying for another vehicle but we will make due as long as we have to, for everything is in HIS time!

I am Yours!

Well I haven't blogged in a very long time but this morning on my way to work as I was listening some worship music (Natalie Grant and Casting Crowns) I received some words from God. I was talking to God and asking "Lord how do I talk to people (friends and family) who don't know You?" "How do I witness to people and make them see what I do and how GOOD You have been to us?" His answer to me was this " Ask them a few questions" " Ask them What they have to Lose believing in Me and asking Me into their hearts" "What will it hurt?" So then I asked myself "What is the worst thing that will happen to me if God doesn't exist?" I die and am buried in the ground. But then I thought " What is the worst thing that can happen to you if God is real and you don't ever ask Him into your heart and have a relationship with Him?" You live an eternity in Hell and never get to see Heaven.... I don't know about you but I am willing to believe in something Bigger than me and something I can't see! I can feel the Lord and when He talks to me I know He exists and when He helps me and provides for me just because I have faith in Him, how could I ever deny Him!

I just pray that someday All of my friends and family will know Him as Ivan and I have and that our story and life can be a testimony for the Lord! I also pray that we can touch so many people's lives and be the hands and feet of Jesus on this Earth!

Such sweet time when I make time to hear from the Lord... I need to slow down and do this more. So that is my goal!