Wednesday, December 14, 2011

My calling!

God has gave me so much to blog about lately but my brain is so scattered with moving next week and all that entails that to focus on just ONE thought is about impossible! I decided I would try to blog but it will probably end up rambling, OH WELL!
So 1st of all I watched THE HELP the other night, WOW but a sad movie... It was very hard for me to watch, and the main reason was because of how awful the white mothers treated their children. That is when I truly realized (even though I already knew this) that being a mother is truly a calling. Anyone can have kids (well some can't but you know what I mean), but not everyone can be a mother, a truly good mother... For as long as I can remember (about age 3 or 4) that, that is ALL I ever wanted... I just wanted to be a MOM. My parents bought me baby dolls and I treated them as my babies, I had to dress them, feed them, cover them up, etc... They even bought me very expensive dolls that I still have, that you could program and they grew up from an infant to toddler, Ironically the baby was called "Baby Heather". I loved that doll... Anyways being a mother is the only TRUE thing I love with all my heart and soul... I like my job as a nurse but would much rather just treat people for free, or for missions, I have NO desire to work full time as one. I thank GOD everyday for my perfect beautiful children... and will strive everyday to raise them to be Christ-like. I hope they will let Jesus shine through them to so many people who don't know Him. I can feel that God has huge plans for my family, I don't know what it looks like but He is preparing me for anything, and I am willing!

2nd I am so mixed with emotions on moving... I mean don't get me wrong I can't wait to see my family but Ivan and I love Knoxville so much it will be hard to move for 6 months... the one and only thing getting me thru this is keeping my eyes on "GOD"... I know this is what He wants us to do for whatever reason... It isn't the "EASY" thing to do, it isn't the "realistic" thing to do but it is HIS plan, and I know by being obedient He will bless it. It won't be easy and the satan will attack as always but we are ready and prepared as much as we can. I know God will bring us back to Knoxville soon, I don't know what that will look like either, He has put a few different things on my heart so i will just keep praying about them. Just continue to pray for us, as we will need much of it!!

3rd... God has been showing me just how blessed I am to have a husband who is my very best friend, who is my soul-mate, who I love more today than I ever could have 11 years ago, more than I could even imagine... A love that still makes my heart beat fast when he calls me or texts me to tell me he loves me and misses me while he is at work... A husband who sings to me, and is silly... A husband who I am honestly never sick of seeing and can't get enough of... My hearts desire was to have a man who was my prince charming, that when I watched a romantic movie I thought of, when I heard a love song I could relate.... No my life isn't a fairy tale but my love for him could be. He can read my thoughts (thank goodness because some days it is more like charades trying to figure out what i am saying)... A husband who works hard to provide for me and his family, and who appreciates me and all I do to take care of him and our kids. We have went through many rough times but the fact that he wants nothing more than to be a good husband to me and does everything he can to become a better man, a more Godly man... that is all that matters to me! I am ONE lucky lady!

That was a little all over the place, but that was everything on my heart lately! Won't have time to blog til after the big move I'd say!

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