Tuesday, January 24, 2012

That's why there's Grace!

I have a lot of time to think since I have about an hour drive to and from school now. On the way to school my main thoughts however are, please don't let me be late!! So on the way home I am more relaxed and absolutely love listening to music (or more so blaring it)... since the QC only has about 2-3 good stations (one being KLOVE) I switch between those and my ipod (Thank God for ipods)! I love this because I either cry out in worship or think about my love (hubby and kids that is)... for many who know us, know that Ivan is constantly breaking out in song either to me or just in general! He cracks me up and I tell him how silly he is but truth is I love it and I love him, and because he does this many songs make me think of him.

Well anyways~ often God will speak to me through music and tonight it was That's Why There's Grace by Kendall Payne. He told me I really needed to share these lyrics with those who don't know Him, who are broken and hurt, who can't forgive others or themselves, and who don't know what HE, and only He can do for us! And most importantly what He has already done for me. Without knowing His grace I could never be where I am today, or be the person I am today.This song explains it all, and so simply really.... (I couldn't get the lyrics to copy but here is the main chorus) and I posted the link to the video.

You can't find the reasons to believe anymore
But don't hide your thoughts from me
Cuz that's why I died, that's why I lived
I know EVERY part of YOU that you won't forgive
That's why I tried to reach you today
I know its hard to have faith through the pain
That's why there's grace
That's why there's grace

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=7DKYZWNX

Monday, January 23, 2012

This is being pretty transparent... but I wouldn't have it any other way!

Ivan and I have been married 10 1/2 years. He is my best friend and would say the same about me. We have had our ups and downs... way more ups!! We don't argue often (esp anymore) but we still get on that Crazy Cycle every once in awhile. I am proud to say it doesn't take us near as long to get off it now and realize just how stupid it is... so the reason I am saying all this is because, as any husband mine can drive me crazy at times, and just plain irritate me, like I said he is my best friend and knowing me as long as he has he knows all the right buttons to push (in more ways that one)... saying that, The other day he made me mad (after 10 yrs I have very little tolerance for certain things, one being the way he responds to me).... so short story is we had our "WORDS"... Few minutes later it was over and done with and he was cooking supper I believe in the kitchen... He looks up at me and says " Honey you know how I have told you before that I think your beautiful no matter what?", "well when you are gritting your teeth and cursing at me, its really not that pretty".... Now mind you, we both laughed because that is pretty dang funny.... all I could really think of was "I've seen my mom mad and I bet it looked just like that" (love you mom, but it is pretty scary) lol The other thing I thought was I hate when I let my temper get the best of me, and it doesn't happen to often, but when it does even my husband is scared ;-) So glad he loves me for me..
Oh and to prove just how well he knows me, a few minutes he said that to me, he also said, " and honey that really doesn't need to go on facebook"!! (Like I would do that) ... He didn't say anything about not posting it in my BLOG!!!

That's why there's Grace!

I have a lot of time to think since I have about an hour drive to and from school now. On the way to school my main thoughts however are, please don't let me be late!! So on the way home I am more relaxed and absolutely love listening to music (or more so blaring it)... since the QC only has about 2-3 good stations (one being KLOVE) I switch between those and my ipod (Thank God for ipods)! I love this because I either cry out in worship or think about my love (hubby and kids that is)... for many who know us, know that Ivan is constantly breaking out in song either to me or just in general! He cracks me up and I tell him how silly he is but truth is I love it and I love him, and because he does this many songs make me think of him.

Well anyways~ often God will speak to me through music and tonight it was That's Why There's Grace by Kendall Payne. He told me I really needed to share these lyrics with those who don't know Him, who are broken and hurt, who can't forgive others or themselves, and who don't know what HE, and only He can do for us! And most importantly what He has already done for me. Without knowing His grace I could never be where I am today, or be the person I am today.
This song explains it all, and so simply really.... (I couldn't get the lyrics to copy but here is the main chorus) and I posted the link to the video.

You can't find the reasons to believe anymore
But don't hide your thoughts from me

Cuz that's why I died, that's why I lived
I know EVERY part of YOU that you won't forgive
That's why I tried to reach you today
I know its hard to have faith through the pain
That's why there's grace
That's why there's grace


Monday, January 9, 2012

Praising God!

First I will start with an update on our move back to Iowa. We left on Thur Dec. 22nd. We were suppose to put our stuff in storage, a building our (suppose to be landlord) had. Well we couldn't get a hold of him for about 2 days so we had no choice but to put some of our stuff in my mom's basement and the rest in a shed that Ivan's sister doesn't use. It wasn't ideal but it worked! So we finally got a hold of our "landlord" after the holidays to find out he was still in the nursing home recuperating from an accident and didn't want us to move into the trailer we had set up. In the meantime we were staying with my mom in her finished basement.
Then we thought we had an apartment to rent and that fell through. We finally found one and moved into it yesterday. It is a lot bigger and nicer than the first so it was definitely meant to be.
Ivan has been putting in many applications but as of now he hasn't gotten anything. Tomorrow is another day!
I however could work some for a friend of mine doing home health care for a wealthy couple but with one car and not knowing what Ivan's schedule will be, plus me starting school in a week, that is not very easy to do! I of course will have to if Ivan doesn't get a job soon though.
My college has been giving me the run around. I applied for financial aide months ago and I was told I was on suspension, then I was told by two ladies I was NOT and it was a mistake, come to find out I was, so I had to deal with that today when school starts next week! When I got to the college I was told to go many different places, and do things that were wrong. Long story short it took me over 3 hrs to get done what should have maybe take 1 hr.... all of which I needed to be home unpacking boxes!
Needless to say our 1st few weeks here have not been easy and nothing has went according to "OUR" plan!! To be honest this isn't even the half of it, I chose to leave out any drama!
Although I know that God is in control of all things, today I let all of this get the best of me. I was in bad mood and I just wanted to give up. I don't usually have a problem with keeping optimistic but financially and emotionally I feel depleted!
On our way home tonight from Wal-mart (which ALWAYS adds to a great day...NOT) we were listening to KLOVE and the song Beautiful Things came on. I turned it on and just zoned out and put all my focus on God alone. He spoke to me " Can you still Praise me?" , "Through all of this going on, can you see ME?" and the truth was for awhile I couldn't, I had let myself have a pity party... But my life is good, I am blessed. God makes beautiful things, I have my husband, kids, a roof over my head, clothes, and food... I have no idea how we will pay our bills, or what tomorrow looks like but What more do I honestly need? NOTHING.... Praise God!