My calling!

God has gave me so much to blog about lately but my brain is so scattered with moving next week and all that entails that to focus on just ONE thought is about impossible! I decided I would try to blog but it will probably end up rambling, OH WELL!

So 1st of all I watched THE HELP the other night, WOW but a sad movie... It was very hard for me to watch, and the main reason was because of how awful the white mothers treated their children. That is when I truly realized (even though I already knew this) that being a mother is truly a calling. Anyone can have kids (well some can't but you know what I mean), but not everyone can be a mother, a truly good mother... For as long as I can remember (about age 3 or 4) that, that is ALL I ever wanted... I just wanted to be a MOM. My parents bought me baby dolls and I treated them as my babies, I had to dress them, feed them, cover them up, etc... They even bought me very expensive dolls that I still have, that you could program and they grew up from an infant to toddler, Ironically the baby was called "Baby Heather". I loved that doll... Anyways being a mother is the only TRUE thing I love with all my heart and soul... I like my job as a nurse but would much rather just treat people for free, or for missions, I have NO desire to work full time as one. I thank GOD everyday for my perfect beautiful children... and will strive everyday to raise them to be Christ-like. I hope they will let Jesus shine through them to so many people who don't know Him. I can feel that God has huge plans for my family, I don't know what it looks like but He is preparing me for anything, and I am willing!

2nd I am so mixed with emotions on moving... I mean don't get me wrong I can't wait to see my family but Ivan and I love Knoxville so much it will be hard to move for 6 months... the one and only thing getting me thru this is keeping my eyes on "GOD"... I know this is what He wants us to do for whatever reason... It isn't the "EASY" thing to do, it isn't the "realistic" thing to do but it is HIS plan, and I know by being obedient He will bless it. It won't be easy and the satan will attack as always but we are ready and prepared as much as we can. I know God will bring us back to Knoxville soon, I don't know what that will look like either, He has put a few different things on my heart so i will just keep praying about them. Just continue to pray for us, as we will need much of it!!

3rd... God has been showing me just how blessed I am to have a husband who is my very best friend, who is my soul-mate, who I love more today than I ever could have 11 years ago, more than I could even imagine... A love that still makes my heart beat fast when he calls me or texts me to tell me he loves me and misses me while he is at work... A husband who sings to me, and is silly... A husband who I am honestly never sick of seeing and can't get enough of... My hearts desire was to have a man who was my prince charming, that when I watched a romantic movie I thought of, when I heard a love song I could relate.... No my life isn't a fairy tale but my love for him could be. He can read my thoughts (thank goodness because some days it is more like charades trying to figure out what i am saying)... A husband who works hard to provide for me and his family, and who appreciates me and all I do to take care of him and our kids. We have went through many rough times but the fact that he wants nothing more than to be a good husband to me and does everything he can to become a better man, a more Godly man... that is all that matters to me! I am ONE lucky lady!

That was a little all over the place, but that was everything on my heart lately! Won't have time to blog til after the big move I'd say!

Just a quick post... Packing and Moving

Well since I haven't had time to blog much I thought I would real quick. I have been busy packing up our home so that we can move in with my sister for one month and then to Iowa for 6 months so that I can finish my nursing degree!

I can't lie it is pretty hard. I have moved many times but in my eyes it was easier because I associated it as bettering ourselves, as in a bigger place or a nicer home etc. Well we love our home and we love our neighborhood so that isn't the case this time. This time we are moving to be obedient to God and that is a lot harder than it seems sometimes. We are so glad we are and wouldn't want it. My heart knows this but my flesh says look what you are giving up, its all materialistic though, nothing that will really better me.

So in the long run it will be good. We will be downsizing and living a little more frugal. We will have to be more creative with our time than just watching TV. It will be great and is actually exactly what I asked for from God in prayer, I just had NO idea what it would look like when He answered.

I also have learned from all this packing that MORE is NOT better!! lol We have WAY more than we need and are not in any way hurting for things!! One good thing about moving is getting rid of stuff!

Well I hope this makes sense because I wrote it very fast and have no time to proof read!

Lately!

Well I haven't blogged in awhile so I thought I would take a few minutes just to fill in what we have done since my last blog. (Good thing I have a planner that I write everything down in or I could never remember) ;-)

Lets see Ivan and I had a date night on Friday Oct. 21. We went to Chili's for supper and came home a watched a movie I believe... Ya we are very exciting aren't we?!

I had a garage sale that Saturday. It wasn't a great turn out! We didn't sell much... I found a few good deals on clothes for the kids that's about it. Then Alex had a soccer game that night. He did great and so did his whole team! I love watching him play, he has such passion for sports!

Sunday we went to Church 1st service and then spent the day as a family at Oakes Farm Pumpkin Patch and Corn Maze. Alex's friend Sam and his family were there also so that was quite an awesome coincidence!

Monday I took CPR for at least the 15th time in my life thus far! BLAH... but it was quick and easy so it was all good! We also sold Alex's car bed!! Woo hoo (one less thing to move)

We carved pumpkins on Tuesday night... Foofa and the red angry bird! Ivan does a great job carving our pumpkins! We also ordered Marco's pizza because it was 1st grade night and all the 1st graders decorated pizza boxes so we got Alex's box!!

Wednesday was C.O.W and Life Group. All the men met at The Kluemper's like normal but the women went to a woman's house who is dying from some unknown health issues. We cleaned and organized many areas of her house, and brought her food. It was great to help someone in need.

Friday it rained and rained and rained so we did NOTHING!! Alex spent the night with Uncle Dennis to go hunting for youth season on Saturday. Ivan went to work Saturday morning from 6-11am. Then we took the girls horse back riding in the Smokies! It was a lot of fun! Then we went to Kendra's for a Nerf War. We stayed there for 2 hrs or so. Then Kendra and I went shopping... and we SOLD the van! THANK GOD!!

Sunday we went to Church 2nd service, we ran a few errands and I helped Cheyenne with her school project that is due this week!!

Besides all the many things we have done in the last week or so I am trying not to be overwhelmed or stressed by the stuff I have to get done... including packing our entire house in 3 weeks and moving it to storage and moving into my sister's. Also I have very mixed emotions about moving. I can't wait to see my family and friends and get my RN and know that I am obeying God's plan and following his path... but it is hard to think about leaving Knoxville (our home, in our hearts), our Church and Church family, and just everything that we love... to go to Iowa in the middle of WINTER, in Moscow in the middle of NOWHERE, in a trailer next to the railroad tracks with NO TV (let alone DVR)... Yes to me this will be roughing it, but if anything this just shows me exactly why God wants me to move... to see that I can DO without!! I need to focus on school and what is important... Christ and my family!

Ivan and I have been laughing and saying I do not know how we will make it thru the winter there when the kids and I both have said how cold we are when it is between 40 and 50 degrees!! UGH!!

This is HIS plan not mine

This morning as I lay in bed and it was as if what alot of people have said to me in the past few weeks had just came racing back to me and as I put it into perspective I felt like I just had to say a couple things... maybe make a statement on my behalf... (not that anyone said anything wrong)

I just have to clarify that I am not going back to school for myself. I am doing this because I know its what God wants FOR ME and for my family. I personally have NO desire to sit back in class for hours, do clinicals on weekends, or study for tests and most of all I do NOT care to miss time with my beautiful family... but it is a sacrifice I am willing to make so that God can use me for His good and to benefit my family in the long run if God so desires. This is also why Ivan made the decision that we have made because he feels the same way... Not him sacrificing his job for MY happiness. This has nothing to do with MY happiness. I am perfectly content with my life right now, but when God opens doors and calls you out of your comfort you HAVE to follow Him.... because HIS plan is so much better than our own plan!

Audacious Living

This is the way I want to live my life. It started over 2 years ago when my husband and I prayed about moving to Knoxville, TN. We lived in Iowa and have most of our lives, all of our family and friends were there, but we knew in our hearts God wanted us elsewhere. So as we prayed God told us Trust me and I will provide. So with our 3 kids we moved, with a u-haul full of our belongings and nothing else, NO jobs, No money... just FAITH! God has done nothing but provide ever since. Matt 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. Ivan and I have trusted Him in every area since.

In Sept. 2010 as we prayed God told Ivan to quit his job and stay home with the kids and had me work full time. We didn't know what this would look like and it was definitely a switch in roles but it was exactly what God wanted. He provided financially and in turn I had to give up some control and see that certain things were not that important, and Ivan had to realize what it was like to have different priorities and had to learn patience with the kids.

A couple weeks ago at church we gave the shoes off our feet to give to people in need. It was actually harder than it sounds. I was wearing my favorite shoes and Ivan was wearing his brand new shoes, but in the end God said "They are NOT yours, they are mine", as is everything we have. He is the one who allows us to have what we have. It was very humbling. When we told the kids what we had done they didn't think twice about what shoes were on their feet, they took them off, and put them on the alter... To have child-like faith and to live Audaciously without even knowing it!

I got the opportunity to be a small group leader at the Esther Experience last weekend. To say the least it was out of my comfort zone, but I put my faith in the Lord and He did amazing work through me. I can take No credit because it was the holy spirit working through me and speaking through me. I in my flesh could have done none of it!

If you looked at my finances, you would laugh... you wouldn't understand how I pay my bills... if you looked at my check book you wouldn't understand the balance. I know I don't but what I do know is that it can only be God because nothing else can explain it.

A couple months ago I was prompted to call my old nursing adviser back in Iowa where I went to school. To my surprise she said I could get right in next semester. I couldn't believe it but I knew instantly it was God opening a door. It is the very last semester I can get my RN without retaking everything! Ivan and I prayed alot about it, as its another huge decision and overall leap in Faith! Our main prayer was "God continue to open doors, show us where you want us, or shut them if you don't want us to move" I can't lie I had mixed feelings, I still do. We absolutely 100% LOVE IT HERE! We love the area, we love our family and church family, our church, kids schools, and our jobs.... but there is that tugging when you know you just HAVE to do what God is saying, we don't know All the reasons but we do know its whats right, for right now. Well God does continue to open doors for us so we have decided to go forward one day at a time and just let God do the work. Isaiah 30:21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

When you live Audaciously you see Results... Things happen... your life counts!! The reality is, and we have experienced this by many, when you live this way people don't like it, it makes them uncomfortable, they just don't understand! When you live Audaciously GOD gets the GLORY! Why, do you ask? Because anyone can see that none of THIS would be possible if it wasn't for HIM!

So... Are you willing to live Audaciously anyways? Even when people and other Christians don't agree?? I AM!! I expect people to think I'm crazy.... because if my life made sense I'd be worried... and I would know I'm just living safe and for myself... and WHO would get the glory for that?

Daniel 6:1-22 is a great example of someone who lived Audaciously for the Lord and didn't compromise his Christianity. Though his very life was on the line, he chose to remain true to himself and true to God. Now its your turn to stand up to the pressure and live to please GOD alone!!

Oh Hadley... and the game of Life!

This girl just never quits with her funniness! I can't remember everything that she said today but man oh man does she crack me up!

We went to Dollar General to get some Mountain Dew and she grabs some donuts and says "mom I would like these donuts please" She really never asks for anything and I was planning on getting her a little candy or something so I was like whatever... I asked if she wanted a ring pop or any other snack and she goes "nope I just want donuts". I was like well ok then. So we come home and I gave her a donut and then I ran upstairs to do a few things. I came back down and she said "mom I got another donut out all by myself" I said "well that's good". We were only home maybe 20 minutes. We then left to get Ivan and ran some errands. We came home and sat down for supper and Hadley barely ate anything. She kept saying she wasn't hungry which whoever knows her that just isn't normal.... So as I am cleaning up supper I look in the donut box and see that 4 were gone!! They weren't the little ones either... She ate 4 regular donuts in 20 minutes... no wonder she wasn't hungry... LOL
Hadley loves to play with her "fake" cell phones. They are our old ones but they don't work. She gave the phone to Ivan and said "grandma Shell wants to talk to you". So Ivan is pretending having a conversation with my mom and he is making it sound really good... "well we are going to walk our dogs now, Oh that's what you are doing to? Yah I bet shorty and penny like that, yah I have been short a penny or two myself" Oh my gosh I thought I was going to die laughing... that boy is funny!! (most of the time) So then we go out to take a walk and Hadley had her phone in her pocket and we are just walking along and all of sudden she pulls it out and says "Mom someones calling you" It was hilarious!

Oh here's another good one but this one is all ALEX... I guess while I was gone this weekend Cheyenne and Ivan were having a conversation and I can't remember all the details but it had to do with how tall something was... and Ivan said, its so many feet tall... and Alex says "your feet or Cheyenne's feet?" bahahaha

Cheyenne, Ivan, and I played the game of Life tonight. Lets just say we laughed until we cried many times. First of all I can't see the writing on any of the tiles so as I am trying to read one I said "something about feeding the bunnies" and Cheyenne and Ivan are laughing so hard cuz it said "you find a buried treasure".... Um that's close right?? lol .... Then Cheyenne is trying to put those little people pegs in her car and she's like "Man I'm sweating inside my shirt trying to do this" we were both like well where else would you sweat?! .... Then throughout the whole game we couldn't help but laugh at Ivan. In the game he started out going to college which you have to borrow $100,000 and his career was a computer designer for $50,000. So he gets a mobile home for his starter home, ends up going back to college and paying $50,000 only to end up getting a teacher position for $40,000 (so he lost a ton of money). Then he has to change homes which costs him like $300,000 for a RV and double wide. We are laughing this whole time cuz he's like I can't afford this stuff... Plus he kept landing on every pay tile there was. First he landed on buy and SUV which I said "Isn't that your whole salary?" ;-) He landed on the redecorate your home tile and had to pay $85,000... Of course I laughed and said now isn't your wife worth that? He goes " the whole house wasn't worth that, I could have bought a new one"! Then he landed on hire a maid and butler service pay $65,000... by this time I can't take anymore... He's like "Really? I live in a double wide!!" I was like "Man your wife is HIGH MAINTENANCE!!" lol It was a great time!! Oh and Cheyenne beat us both.....

Esther Experience Make War

I left for Etowah, TN on Thursday afternoon to attend the Esther Experience, this time as a small group leader. I was a little nervous about leaving my family for 72 hrs or so and about being a small group leader since that is quite a bit out of my comfort zone. I prayed about it for months and knew it was just of Satan to tell me I wasn't adequate enough for the job and would have nothing to give these women.

Thursday was getting settled in, figuring out where everything was, setting up from stuff, and meetings to know what the tentative plan for the weekend was. Also getting to know all of our small group leader. There were 15 of us.

Friday was up early which was a little rough since none of us slept Thurs night due to being in a different place and hearing every move we all made. We had to get everything set up for the nights events. There was a lot of prep work. We also made our journey to the cross after lunch. Participants showed up around 6:30 and I believe we got to bed around 11:30 that night.

Saturday is the day that feels like 3 put into 1. We were up early to get the day started. Had many sessions. It was a powerful, humbling day...... we got to bed late... midnight or so.

Sunday was the last day and we were up the earliest. We had our final sessions and finished up around 1 or so. We had an overall amazing beyond words can explain weekend.

Our theme for the event was Make War. It was based on 2 Corinthians 10:3-4.

I learned many things and God told me so much this weekend and once again showed me just how faithful He is, as I prayed so many things and He answered them all! The words he gave me this weekend were discipline and obedience. I won't give away any details of the experience because I believe EVERY woman needs to attend this retreat! It is Life changing! .... So attend Esther Experience and figure out just what is you are going to do to CHANGE YOUR WORLD!